I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
