I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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