Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
