I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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