I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
