so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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