there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize