yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
