I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I think we might need a safe word for this...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
