So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
