Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
