Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize