I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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