small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
