Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize