Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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