Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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