If that was your dad, he is hot
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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