My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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