been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
