**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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