Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
