lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize