There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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