the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
