I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
