I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
