sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
