He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
