I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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