the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
