You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
