Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
