bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
