In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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