i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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