two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
