So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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