i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
