Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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