at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
