last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
