I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
