I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I supernannyed him into submission
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
