Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
