The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
