hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
