Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
