the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
