At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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