Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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