Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
