Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
