All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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