just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
