We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
