do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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