I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize