Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
