Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
