i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
