is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The adults are the big ones right?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize