party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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