Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She bit a glass in half.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
