What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
